How to spot a scam account on a pen pal site
Updated 2026-09-18
Every site where strangers talk attracts people running the same script. It is worth knowing because the early signs are easy to see once you have seen them once.
The pattern
It runs in four stages, usually over two to six weeks.
- Contact. A warm, slightly generic message. Attractive photo, sparse profile, recently created account.
- Move. Within a few messages, a push to continue on another app. The reason sounds ordinary: notifications, convenience, "I rarely check this site".
- Bond. Fast escalation — long messages, endearments, talk of the future with someone they have never met. Often a story that explains why they cannot video call.
- Ask. A problem appears. A customs fee, a hospital bill, a blocked account, a crypto opportunity they want to share with you.
Signals you can check in the first minute
- Profile photos that look like a professional shoot, with no ordinary photos among them.
- A profile that names no city, no work, nothing checkable.
- Language that does not match the claimed background — someone who says they are from Manchester writing in a register no British person uses.
- The account joined this week and is already deeply attached to you.
- Any refusal to do a short live video call after weeks of intimacy.
Two rules that cover almost everything
Never send money. Not a loan, not a gift card, not crypto, not "just to cover the fee". There is no scenario where a genuine correspondent needs your money in the first months.
Never accept a package or a transfer to pass on. That one is not just a scam against you; it is how people get used for money laundering and end up explaining themselves to police.
If you are already in one
Stop paying immediately. Do not send one last amount to "unlock" what you already sent — that stage has its own scripted second scam. Save the messages, report the account, and tell someone you trust. Shame keeps this going far longer than the story ever would.
On being too suspicious
Most people here are exactly who they say they are. The check costs nothing: keep the conversation on the site for a few weeks, ask ordinary questions about their day, and notice whether the answers form a consistent life. Real people fail to be interesting sometimes. Scripts never do.